The House of Hilarious Doom
SO What DO you dO whEn y0urE an IMP StuCk to A Gnome thAT yOU’re SUPposed to steer iN tHe RIGHT dIreCtION BECAUSE some dafT WIZARD figURed A GEAS would BE a GRRREAT idea to PUT on Him and BiNd aN Imp t0 THE Gnome t0 gEt him There… INSANE rIGHT?..
Well THAts ExACtlY WHAT happened!! JUST mY BLOODY lUcK.
And YES i AM WrITing lIke THIS jUST t0 anoY yU0.
fINe I’ll make it easier on you. So Hi, My name’s Luci, I’m an imp. And I’m the big lead of this story. The Anti-Hero. You know, the character you think you all hate but grow to love. Yeah thats me,
So here me and Xifan were at this funeral for this dead dwarf Aldoban.. What? To far back? All right fast forward!!
The moment we entered that house, I knew we found a charming place. Death and devils stuck to this place like sticky sweet blood from a booze filled bums artery on a gravelled wall… yeah let that sink in for a moment.
This place, I mean whomever lived here were well on their way down the nine, you know what I mean? As in nine hells, not that mighty nein thing… wait what?..
It took the crew some exploring, some scares and a battle with walking tin can and the incorporeal nanny but they managed to pop themselves through a mirror and up some secret stairs into the attic.
I need to interrupt this train of thought for a moment just to tell you. I think Xifan is on the right path finally.. to his grave that is. If he keeps up these actions, I’ll be rid of him and that geas in no time. Yay me.
So where was I.. Oh right. So Xifan opened the door to the attic and entered one dusty place with a couple exits.
After trying one of the doors they found a bedroom with a rocking chair and doll siting in it. I couldn’t resist. They were already spooked by it and I made it move. Deeymai immidiatly caved the poor thing’s head in. If she didn’t die minutes later I would have had so much fun with her… oooooo spoiler alert, she dies minutes later.
Then there was this room where Xifan tried to pick the lock and then someone tried knocking. Whatever’s in there knocked back. Apparently as we would learn later the Durst children were (are?) locked in that room… like 60 years ago.. Pret-ty sure human children need to eat sooner then that. My awesome devil senses detected some form of kin in that room though. So I informed Xifan of it…. and.. he thought that some girl named Lucy was whispering in his ear.. ‘Facepalm’
A-ny-waaaay… On to the next door. It was thrown wide open and it turn out to be some form of storage. Boxes, tables, desks, chests, lamps, statues. Chuck full of it. There was a bit of shiny light at the other side of it all though. So Xifan immidiatly moved his immortal ass (I don’t need to do the hashtag sarcasm thing right?) away from the rest of the group and in complete silence.. aaand looked into the eyes of a hot babe with snakes in her hair and a deadly gaze… Who when not gazing no longer kept the statues in place who all animated and turned on first him and then the rest of the party.
A battle commenced. To keep things short. They battled the things in a tight spot, leaving them with little room to move, Xifan almost got himself killed and petrified.. Okay so I have to honestly say that this is to much fun right now, so I helped him just a little to not get killed just yet.
Then 3 of the statues battled Deeymai and this is where the spoiler came in, she lost. The things are into her and left her bleeding to death on the floor.
Good thing the party had a healer with them.. Oooo wait She WAS the HEALER!!?? These events totally have Luci’s seals of approval. Both of them.
Turns out the snake girl is actually just a hot chick with a hair problem… curse, I mean curse. And she was bound in that spot to guard a secret door to the dungeon in underneath the house. The door to the dungeon on the fourth floor of the house… I’m used to the nine hells, and this house is weirder then that place. Really it is.
We stopped there though because, well dead healer, people tired, wounded, out of spells. You know how this thing goes.
Oh hey there was that cat from the library that ran out of the house as soon as the door opened. You know what? I’m not entirely certain that was cat…
They took Deeymai’s already slightly smelling, slowly rotting corpse to some temple that I definitely did not enter but watched from afar.
Turned out they got an invite to visit her funeral. Allways fun.
Apparently funerals are great ways to meet interesting new people because this halfling who knew her started talking his way into the group.
Introduced himself as Flynloyd Tenpenny. Interesting persona. I need to keep an eye, ear and nose on him. Note to self collect an eye, ear and nose from some corpse.
He was to join in on the fun of house DOOM!!! The next day.
I would like to take this moment to advice you to smoke, drink and sign contracts that shady figures hand to you. That’s all just fine and make your life happier and longer.
The next day.
So they went back and with the help of Ava, the snake girl searched the house for whatever it was that Aldoban kept all his secrets in.
And they found it in a secret room. They have no idea what it is but I do and I will totally spoil that here now… It’s a Mimer. You knew this already? You want to know more? What is it? What does it do? Where does it come from? Who makes these things? PAY ME!
no? Ah well…
Whatever information that thing has stored, it’s locked behind a cypher. Luckily Aldoban left a clue ‘The key is in his likeness’. I love when people do that. And that make it easy enough to find if you’ve ever been to the Neverwinter Nights tabloid office.. Which I totally haven’t been to edit and change some stories. Shadwen has a painting of the dwarf right opposite her desk on the wall. She must have really loved that dwarf… mmm..
Well. I gues that’s where we’re heading.. orrrr we’re going to explore the dungeon. Both could be fun.. Let’s first check what’s behind door number two though. The kids room, I’ll need to steer them in that direction.
I’m going to have so much fun with this group.